Coping with Burnout

Hello~

A Beach Day with Beach Guy has been out for a little over a month now. Thanks so much for checking it out! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did slapping it together lol. 

I wanted to talk a bit about burnout and how making this project made me feel free and refreshed! Before A Beach Day with Beach Guy, it honestly felt like I'd been burnt out for the last two years. To me, it seemed like I hadn't put out anything great and that my accomplishments in the past years were insignificant. So much time was passing me by despite me working a bit every day on my projects, and I had nothing to show for it. It ate away at me and I became more and more discouraged. 

I learned about Worst Visual Novel Challenge from a post on BlueSky. I saw someone repost about it too saying how it was awesome to just let loose and go wild, or something along those lines. That made me think it'd be a great opportunity to free myself from the constraints of my perception of "perfection". I'd trapped myself in a box where I thought everything I put out had to be "polished" and "beautiful" and "correct" and I wanted to be free. Essentially, I forgot what it was like to have fun.

So I went about trying to break what I believed was "good". I doodled Kai (Beach Guy),  my comfort OC, and said, "Yeah, eff his proportions." I drew his hands and said, "Yeah, I don't like drawing hands. Screw it." And then I caught myself trying to shade his muscles and was like, "Yo. No. Not today." And our perfect Beach Guy was born!

Then I considered what would actually occur in this visual novel. I remembered I had an asset pack with beach photos, so I used one of the photos and said, "Okay, yeah. Guess we'll go to the beach." I'd always wanted to have a beach date with Kai anyway. I thought it'd be nice to walk along the shoreline with him, eat dessert, build sand castles... That's why all that stuff is in there. It's not necessarily "bad" or the "worst" thing I could've come up with, but I thought it'd be fun. And at the end of the day, the whole reason I was creating a submission for the project was to have fun.

It was delightful breaking out of the mold I had set for myself. I was reminded of why I create in the first place. It's not for anyone but myself. It sounds selfish if you take it out of context, but I make stuff because I just think it's fun to create. Not everything has to be "perfect". We can just make things and they can just exist. 

Anyway, recently, I found myself caught in that downward spiral again. I know... It came around so quickly. I was sitting at my desk doom scrolling like, "My God. Why can't I make cool things. Why do I suck at drawing. Why do I suck at making anything" Dumb. I know, because like, hello Ari, just draw what you want??? Just. CREATE? ANYTHING? Anyway, I'm
not gonna try to make excuses. I decided to just draw something for me and I thought I'd share because it's tangentially related to the project. So, BEHOLD! I drew Beach Guy at the beach!

In any case, I know I can be a hypocrite sometimes because I often tell others to make whatever they want or not worry about what other people think. But I think it's difficult to do that in this space. We're always trying to make things for other people to see and worrying if it'll be good, if people will like it, yadda yadda yadda. Let me remind myself again. I create for me. I create because I need to get out of my own head. If I'm not drawing or writing, I'm probably spiraling downward wondering why I'm not drawing or writing. It's dumb. It doesn't need to be that way. 

I know this isn't the case for most creatives, especially if creating is your job. That's why mental health is important. If you find yourself spiraling, seriously, just take some time for yourself. I'm working on being better with that too. Talk to your pals if you need to! Share your ideas! Get excited about what you're making again! Vent your frustrations on a sheet of paper! You don't have to share it! It can be just for you! If you're starting to see that dark tunnel, run the other way! Break out! It's okay to stop working on something. You can always come back to it another time. People aren't perfect and we aren't robots. 

I guess that's all I really wanted to say lol. But let me know your thoughts! How do y'all destress or cope with burnout?

Much Aloha,
xxAri