Hi- here to give some feedback!
-I really loved the tone of the story, the beautiful sky, the bright, crisp colors. And the music was wonderful!
- I loved playing as a young professional man, I feel like men are way underrepresented in VNs, especially adult men.
-Almost all of the characters were drawn very well, the main character was excellent, so were all of the young characters we met.
- I also loved that it was slice of life. And I do agree that it would be better as a shorter story than a longer one. It would be nice if there would be a lot of short branches and many different possibilities in the one/two days instead of only a few long branches.
-I loved that there was a lot of choices and short concise dialogue.
-In the work route, there's a chunk of time where there is complete silence and no music is playing.
-The coworker isn't drawn very well and is not the same style as the other characters.
-When you visit the pastry shop, the dialogue between the male employee and the male main character is really really weird. It's like they are hitting on each other. It's not very pleasant.
Overall, I thought this was a great VN that has the potential to be even more interesting and engaging. I wish you luck with your work on this and making it complete!